* SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH...

 

    

🤣😜🤣😜🤣     

ENGLISH AT ITS BEST --PUNs to relax and read 

She fell in love with ...

a *Banker* but he showed no *interest.*         

a *Gym Trainer,* but it didn't *Work out.*

a *Librarian,* but his time was always*Booked.*

an *Astronaut*, but he wanted *Space.*  

 an*Electrician*, but for him there was no *Spark.*

a *Cardiologist* but he broke her *Heart.*    

a *Geologist*, but the relationship was too *Rocky.*

an *Economist*, but he couldn’t supply her *Demands.*

a *Violinist* but he said, *"No Strings attached."*

a *Linguist*, but he left her *Speechless.*

a *Seismologist*, but he was always finding *Fault.*

a *Cook*, but he left her on the back *Burner.*

a *Mathematician*, but she couldn't *Count* on him.

a *Scuba diver*--on the surface, everything seemed to be deep fine, but down she knew something *Fishy* was going on.

a *Fisherman*, but he wasn't a good *Catch.*

a Mason, but they never built a strong foundation.*

a *Teacher*, but he had no *Class!*

a *Tennis player,* but *Love meant nothing* to him.

a magician, but he kept playing tricks.*

a *Lawyer*, but he never took her to the *Bar.*

a *Recovery agent* and he *Seized* her.

AND, at last she fell in love with *An ED officer* and got *Attached". * 😆

The Subtle Art of Overeating Politely

 

A hotel’s complimentary buffet breakfast is the closest thing to a polite catastrophe . At 6:30 a.m., grown adults who normally need three alarms to wake up are already hovering outside the restaurant door like it’s a flash sale. The moment it opens, civilization leaves the room . People surge forward with the desperation of a species that fears the poori might run away.

The continental section sits there, lonely, untouched. Croissants looking depressed, bread slices drying in the AC because the true desi minimalists walk past them like past bad memories. Bread and eggs? Why again? They station themselves at the dosa counter with the same intensity that they used for land disputes.

Meanwhile the Full-Hog Overachievers begin their day’s construction work: plate upon plate stacked with paratha touching pasta touching pineapple touching ideological confusion. They aren’t here to eat; they are here to economically punish the hotel for daring to include breakfast in the tariff. A subset of them say “ nothing is good” before they go for a second helping. Another guest drinks nine cups of masala chai and wonders aloud why his BP is rising. The rest of us know.

Then come the Protein Bros, those majestic creatures whose arms enter the buffet three seconds before the rest of their body. They demand fourteen egg whites and bargain like they’re at Chickpet. One bro even pours whey powder into sambar, declaring it a fusion dish. The chef’s soul quietly exits his body.

Nearby, a diabetic guest requests a strict egg-white Omelette while simultaneously dual-wielding mango and pineapple juice like nutritional nunchucks. Their glucose meter files for voluntary retirement. And just when the buffet thinks it has seen enough, the rich sleepers float in at 11:20 a.m. Breakfast long gone, even the toaster unplugged. But time, to them, is a rumor. They demand pancakes from the void, and hotel staff obey with the resignation of civil servants during budget season. They order a la carte..

The business traveler meanwhile is on Day four and has a serving of toast–fried egg–coffee déjà vu. He pockets bananas like he’s smuggling state secrets, sips coffee with dead eyes, and silently wonders when he last felt joy. 

Children, on the other hand, are pure chaos wrapped in sugar. They are charging at waffles, drowning them in chocolate syrup, and rejecting anything that looks remotely like nutrition. The hotel staff steps aside as they sprint past, muffins in both hands like victorious gladiators. Their moms are trying to feed them something they detest. The dads overlook this event…

*Uncles* are the true apex predators: poori, dosa soaked in ghee, pongal the size of a meteor, five cups of chai, and then the inevitable announcement “I eat very light these days.”

*Fitness Moms interrogate the buffet like they’re cracking a terror cell: “Which oil? Which farm? What breed of almond?*” And after all this detective work, they consume three papaya cubes and radiate smug wellness.

Foreign tourists wander around in innocent confusion, eating idli with jam, mixing chutney with muesli, sipping sambar like broth until suddenly their tongue goes numb and they realise India has entered their bloodstream.

The lonely cereal guy sits surrounded by 800 calories of joy and chooses cornflakes anyway, crunching like he’s punishing himself for existing.

Somewhere, an influencer couple rearranges that poori for 40 minutes, taking photos from all angles. By the time they finish, the poori has the emotional stability of a punctured balloon. Nearby, professional buffet looters stuff muffins into handbags, slip bread rolls into jacket pockets, and walk out rustling like walking vegetable markets.

And through all of this, someone always makes an impossible request from masala cornflakes, gluten-free poha to a sugar-free gulab jamun while the staff stares into the horizon questioning every life choice.

A complimentary buffet breakfast is not nourishment. It is revenge, it is childhood trauma, it is class struggle, it is comedy, it is tragedy, it is a deeply personal confrontation with carbs.

It is the Olympics of Paisa Vasool. And after the dust settles, after the plates are cleared, after the last banana is smuggled away, everyone makes the same bold declaration:

“Tomorrow, I’ll eat light.”

And of course, as we leave, all of us are already telling the same lie to ourselves, the oldest lie in the history of complimentary breakfasts:

Tomorrow, we’ll behave better.

Tomorrow arrives.

We won’t.

But it’s sweet that we believe it.

** (Week end humor / Musings  -by an unknown author)

Unconventional Heists: The Bizarre World of Theft and Robbery

Robbery, heist, dacoity, theft, and stealing are all forms of criminal activity that involve the unlawful taking of property or cash.

While bank robberies often receive more attention and publicity, other bizarre incidents also occur and are equally condemnable by a civilised society.

Recently, several alarming and interesting news reports have emerged regarding such incidents.

Bihar has experienced a baffling theft involving the mysterious disappearance of an entire pond in the Darbhanga district. This pond, which was reportedly publicly owned and commonly used for activities such as fishing, has vanished and has been replaced by a hut, leaving residents bewildered, according to news reports. The sudden appearance of the hut in place of the pond prompted locals to alert the police. According to reports, the land mafia, accused of filling in the pond to illegally seize the land, had already fled by the time law enforcement arrived. Residents reported that the pond, which was once a valuable community resource, became a target due to rising land prices in Darbhanga. Despite community efforts and temporary interventions by local officials to stop the pond's filling, the land mafia continued their work secretly under the cover of darkness, ultimately leading to the pond's destruction. Authorities had previously visited the site and confiscated some equipment; however, according to police officials, the offenders continued their operations at night. (NDTV/Economic Times - Jan 2024)

Bihar has gained notoriety for unusual thefts committed by individuals, one of the most notable being the theft of an entire diesel engine, taken piece by piece from a railway yard in the Begusarai district. The thieves dug a tunnel to access the yard, gradually dismantling and stealing parts of the engine that had been brought there for repairs.

The case came to attention after a report was filed at the Barauni police station regarding the theft of a diesel engine that had been brought to the Garhara yard for repairs. The police recovered some of the missing parts from a gang involved in unbolting steel bridges and stealing their components.

In a separate incident last year, a railway engineer from the Samastipur Loco Diesel Shed faced suspension for allegedly selling an old steam engine that was located at the Purnea court premises. The engineer reportedly used a forged letter from the divisional mechanical engineer of Samastipur and collaborated with other railway officials and security personnel to facilitate the sale of the engine!.(KalingaTV/India Post -July 2022 )

Thieves in Bihar are making a big catch and are robbing things that are beyond imagination. After swindling an entire rail engine, robbers have now stolen an entire 50-metre-high mobile tower worth Rs 19 lakh from Patna. The thieves posed as officials of the service provider GTPL Hathway Limited, who had installed the tower on the terrace of a house of a person named Lalan Singh in Yarpur Rajputana colony in the Gardanibagh area of Patna. Singh said that a group of people came to him posing as officials of the mobile company and allegedly said that the firm was incurring massive losses; therefore, they had planned to remove the mobile tower. He then allowed people into his house without verifying. How did they manage to steal a mobile tower? In a complaint, it was stated that a gang of thieves comprising 25 individuals came equipped with gas cutters and other required tools. The thieves dismantled the entire tower and loaded the parts into the truck before stealing it away. According to reports, the tower was installed about 15 years ago by the Aircel mobile company and the monthly rent was fixed at Rs 10,000 at the time of installation. After Aircel shut down, GTPL took the tower. How did the robbery come to fore? The robbery came to light when officials reached Lalan Singh’s house to inspect a “malfunctioning” tower. When they arrived, they were left surprised that there was no mobile tower on the spot. They then registered a complaint with the Gardnibagh police, and the search to trace the robbers was initiated.(CNBC/Pune Mirror-  Jan 2023)

Criminal incidents like these, and many others, occur in various states. The cases mentioned here are just a glimpse into a broader picture.

Here are some more interesting events happening on the world stage for your reading enjoyment.

Bars and restaurants that stay open late at night are nothing new. There are all kinds of restaurants with outdoor seating all over the world. If the weather is good, you can sit outside and enjoy your meal. Sometimes, late at night and after the guests have left, the tables and chairs are left outside the restaurant.

Thieves also know of these facilities. They might also be among those who dine out at night. When they enjoy good food, some interesting ideas come to their minds. That's how they discover the potential for theft of outdoor tables and chairs.

In a surprising turn of events, restaurant and bar owners across Spain have discovered they are missing a key piece of furniture: their dining chairs. Spain's National Police have arrested seven individuals accused of stealing over a thousand chairs from outdoor seating areas across Madrid and nearby municipalities, according to a report by the Associated Press.

The group - six men and one woman - allegedly targeted restaurants and bars in Madrid and Talavera de la Reina, a smaller city southwest of the capital. In just two months, they reportedly stole around 1,100 chairs from 18 different establishments. The total value of the stolen property is estimated at 60,000 euros (approximately Rs 61 lakh). The goods must be original.

According to police, the stolen chairs were resold not only within Spain but also shipped off to buyers in Morocco and Romania. Authorities believe the operation was well-organised, with the group functioning as a coordinated criminal network.

A study conducted in Britain found that, on average, 53% of books were stolen from bookstores. The Bible, which teaches us not to steal, is the most stolen book. Many hotels have a tradition of leaving a Bible in the room. The question arises as to whether guests taking the Bible when they leave is theft or a desire to read it later. Interestingly, the Guinness Book of World Records has noted that the most frequently absent book from a U.S. library shelf is the “Guinness Book of World Records”!

Expensive books were chained to the corners in libraries. Books could be read sitting there. They could not be removed. In those days, when superstitions were rampant, the last or first page of the book warned that anyone who took it would be struck by lightning. It also stated that if a thief stole it, the book would soon transform into a snake, along with other ominous predictions.

Published in 2005, "The Book Thief" is a novel by Australian author Markus Zusak that gained immense popularity. The book portrays the atrocities committed by the Nazis in Germany. "The Book Thief" has sold 17 million copies and has been translated into 63 languages. In 2013, it was adapted into a film of the same name.

Disappointment

                   

“Krishna! Krishna! Mukunda! Janardana!
Krishna! Govinda! Narayana! Hare!

Achyuthananda ! Govinda! Madhava!
Sachidananda! Narayana! Hare !”

The loudspeaker was playing the prayer song from the Sri Krishna Temple.

Janaki teacher got up and looked at the time. It was five o'clock. Meenu should be home by seven-thirty. There was still a lot of time. She was tossing and turning. Then, out of habit, Achutha Marar  said, "Janu, are you awake too? Time doesn't move."

"Yes, Achuetta, didn't you say the children would arrive at nine o'clock?" The teacher cleared up the doubt.

"Well, we're lucky, Janu. Why, even though the children haven't come to the festival for a long time, this time both of them are coming."

"Okay, are we not going to the festival every time?"

Then, recalling the children's childhood quarrels, jokes, and laughter one by one, the time passed by until half past seven. Leaning on his stick, Marar and the teacher stood up, holding onto the wall and door. Thinking that the children should have the dishes they liked most with our own hands, the teacher said, "Meenu, just help me today. I'll do all the cooking."

Meenu laughed, "What a glow on both of your faces today. Both are ten years younger now!" The teacher, overcome with enthusiasm, forgot all about her illness and got to work. His dry, trembling hands began to move slowly. She first made the children's favourite Masala Dosa, Jackfruit Ada, and Uzhundu Vada.  After that, she started to make rice and curry. By then, Achutha Marar, after taking a bath, went to the gate four or five times, holding his stick, and came back. After a while, he came to the kitchen and said that the children had not arrived, even though it was half past nine. After sitting on the chair for a while, he went back to the gate. He came back ten or twelve times and finally said to the teacher, "It's past eleven. They haven't arrived yet! It's not like every time, they have assured me that they will definitely arrive this time."

"Sometimes the train may be late, Achuvetta," the teacher said, without showing her tension.

After preparing the food, the teacher also went to the garden with him. At this time, Meenu came to them and said, "All the work is done. I closed the pan when it got a little warm. Let me go home, teacher. Children had come from school and were waiting for me there, and we had to take them to the temple. "

When they couldn't stand any longer, Achutha Marar and the teacher sat down on the verandah steps. At twelve o'clock, the morning session of Chenda melam at temple was coming to an end. The stomachs of the two people, exhausted and hungry, were growling. At this time, Marar asked, "Janu, have you eaten anything?"

"I drank a glass of tea. Let's eat together when the children arrive. It's been a long time since we've eaten together. Oh, did Achuvettan eat anything?"

"I also had a glass of tea. I thought they might have arrived by now. It seems the children won't be home by the noon. Is there some kind of block in the area?"

Achutha Marar said while wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.

"Even if there is a block, it's time to come. Is there something wrong with the kids? They said it is free from college. Gopan's child is always short of breath. He doesn't want to see the doctor here anyhow. My God, why punish us by waiting...!" the teacher said with a wave of her hand.

The clock on the verandah struck three as Meenu, accompanied by her children and grandchildren, returned from the temple after the kavadi attam dance play. They were chatting happily as they made their way down the steps. The children carried balloons and whistles, creating a lively atmosphere filled with laughter and play. When they reached the gate, Meenu, surprised and a bit worried, asked, "Janu edathi, haven't the children arrived yet?"

"No," replied the teacher.

To ease her concern, Meenu asked again, "Why don't you both come to the evening Pooram ? Your faces look quite pale. Haven't you eaten?"

"I thought I’d wait for the children to come," the teacher said hopefully.

"Oh! You two should go and eat quickly. You both have high sugar and high blood pressure!" Meenu urged. They watched until Meenu also disappeared. Both of them went inside and drank a glass of hot water each. When the phone rang, Marar answered it and spoke to the teacher in frustration. "Gopika  is busy and held up in the office today with the audit team," he explained. "Additionally, the children have exams coming up later this week, so their trip home will have to be postponed until next year."

 He sat in the armchair, sadness clearly visible on his face. Seeing this, the teacher said, "Gopan mentioned he would come anyway; he seemed so sure about it."

At five o'clock, the phone began to ring again. This time, Marar picked it up with anticipation. As soon as he set the receiver down, tears filled his eyes. In a stammering voice, he said, “It’s Gopan.” After a moment of hesitation, he continued, “He’s busy with work and couldn’t reach back from outstation work.  Since it’s the end of the year, he needs to finalise certain tax issues and accounts. He said he’ll come next year.”

When Meenu arrived to do her late afternoon chores, the door was open. As she peeked into the kitchen, she saw that the coffee, sweets, rice, and curries had all gone cold, as if they were sharing in their grief. When she entered the room, she found both of them lying down. The sadness within them boiled and flowed like lava through her sunken eyes. Upon seeing Meenu, the teacher spoke in a low, tired voice, “Meenu, how lucky you are. Carry out home  whatever food items required for children. You don’t have to work late tonight. Hurry up and take the kids to see the Pooram. Just come back tomorrow afternoon.”

Achutha Marar added, “Meenu, your life is blessed. Go quickly to your children. Don’t waste time. May all the colours combine to form a rainbow.”

Meenu couldn’t contain her sadness and left for home with tears in her eyes, unable to find the words to comfort the elderly couple.

“Krishna! Krishna! Mukunda! Janardana! 

Krishna! Govinda! Narayana! Hare!

Achyutananda! Govinda! Madhava! 

Sachidananda! Narayana! Hare !

The loudspeaker was playing the prayer song from the Sri Krishna Temple the next morning, as usual, but they didn’t notice or hear it.

🙏